Monthly Archives: October 2014

Photo: Litwick’s wish


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Sorceror’s Hat and other welcome changes

Disney has announced that they are finally removing the infamous Sorcerer’s Hat from the end of Hollywood Boulevard at DHS. Sure, it was an iconic place to get a family photo and a nice area for a stage show, but it marred the otherwise meticulous theming of DHS’ main avenue plus blocking the view of the Chinese Theater.

Also, they plan on getting rid of the “Legend of Captain Jack Sparrow” in November. Honestly, it was unimpressive, unfunny, horribly disjointed experience (a trait it shared with “Journey into Narnia: Prince Caspian”). DHS has not announced what it plans to replace the attraction with, but giving the timing I’d say possibly either Maleficent or Into the Woods is a good bet (though the latter film, like Caspian will likely be forgotten quickly).


EPCOT is poised to lose a “classic” flume ride – “Maelstrom” this month so they can retheme it to the phenomenally popular Frozen movie (which already has a museum dedicated to it in the same pavilion plus a show, shop AND play area in DHS) that was set in the Norway-LIKE kingdom of Arendale (to be differentiated from Norway-SET).

Granted, “Maelstrom” was a horribly dated (and poorly laid-out – the only part I actually liked about it was the fishing village at the end of the ride) attraction and sorely NEEDED a reboot (actually the whole park needs an overhaul, but I digress), but Frozen is the NOT the answer to this park’s problems. What they should do is make the small Outpost refreshment stand into a full pavilion such as Australia\NZ (as it fits the existing theme)… or a South American country (as the only “Latin American” area on the showcase is the embarrassingly dated Mexico pavilion) – and there are no African countries on the showcase at all (though to be fair, DAK is dominated by fictionalized versions of “East Africa” and South Asia).

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Photos: Chinese auction at St Johns UCC

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Bagging groceries is hard

After coming back from Target, I drop my stuff in the refrigerator and grab a smaller bag from the table to get milk (as buying it at Target would not only take up too much room in my bag but make it too heavy for me to carry all the way up that steep hill to my apartment). With bag in hand, I make my way back down the hill to the Korean grocery store at the bottom of the hill.

Normally, the staff is friendly and nominally helpful, but I didn’t recognize the older, slightly balding Asian lady behind the counter (they’ve been adding quite a few new cashiers in the past few months to run their ONE register). The store’s owner sat a few feet away reading a Korean-language newspaper.

I gave her a green reusable bag. She looks at it, reaches under the counter and pulls out a back store bag which he starts placing stuff my stuff into. I tell her I gave her a reusable bag for my stuff, but she stops for a moment, shrugs and then continues putting my items in the store bag anyway.

She takes the plastic bag, slides it right into my reusable bag and tries to hand it to me with the world’s least convincing smile: “There, aaaalllll happy now.”

IF I was happy about this, that would make me… oh, right, I forgot.

Before I can say anything, she looks at me sternly and snaps (in perfect English): “Well then, what DO you want me to do about it than, huh?”

I explain to her, that sliding a plastic store bag into my reusable bag I gave her at the beginning of the transaction defeats the purpose of BOTH. She then looks at me as if I’m not allowed to insult her, dumps everything out of the bag and angrily chucks it my reusable bag before shoving it back to me with an evil glare.

Did I mention, her boss was still less than ten feet away? Well, he was, but he seemed completely oblivious to the exchange.

“Bye-bye now, haaaave niiice daaaaay…(drops accent again) stupid asshole.”

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All I really wanted was the sandwich

I went food shopping at the Target in Mondawmin Mall this afternoon. But before I did, I stopped in the newly reopened Burger King next that now looks like was dropped in from some kind of airport food court (aside the sea foam paint and faux stone walls, they also removed one railing from their cue).

“Can I get a Combo 4, medium with a Barq’s Root Beer.”

“Anything else with that,” she said giving me this weird look.

“No thank you.”

“Do you want a holder-tray for your drinks?”

“Why I only ordered one?”

“No you didn’t – you ordered ‘FOUR medium root beers.’”

“Wait, what? I ordered a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger with medium fries and a Barq’s Root Beer.”

“That would be a ‘COMBO four,’” her manager said tapping the screen on her register.

If this was it and everything was corrected, then there wouldn’t be a problem. But, nooo, she was determined to fight this…for whatever reason.

“No,” she said to him as if turning her head slightly to the right made her completely inaudible. “He ordered ‘FOUR ROOT BEERS’ – those were his EXACT words – now he’s trying to blame this shit on me.”

“So you’ve just called me a liar ‘behind my back’ while I’m standing LESS THAN A FOOT AWAY FROM YOU!”

“Calm down, no need to be all mad. What’s the name for the order? It don’t matter which one you give me, I just need a name.”

Before I could answer her she looked at me skeptically and asked me:

“And YOU actually went to ‘Miami University’ like that key thingy around your neck says?” (implying that I’m too stupid to get into college)

“The term is ‘lanyard’ and didn’t ‘go there’ – I graduated – class of 2004.” (Note: I didn’t correct her on the school name. I gave up that fight long ago)

She passes me ONE drink, and a receipt with the word “LANYARD” written across the top in bold black letters (I half expected her to write something crude).

A few minutes later as I’m pondering why I’d want FOUR root beers when I all I went in for was a simple sandwich, the manager called out my order and hands me a small paper bag. Yes, there was a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger and medium fries in it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood to eat any of them anymore…

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