“Do you even LIVE here?”

There was a notice on my door that it was time for the quarterly change of A/C filters in the units. It is the tenant’s responsibility to perform said change with the supplied cardboard filter they left leaning against my door.

Fine, I remember having to do that while I was at UM. All I have to do is open the vent and slide it in…but I can’t get the cover off on my own. I spend literally twenty minutes or so prying it off in every conceivable way possible, and it didn’t move. Fortunately, the note said if the tenant has any trouble with installing it, they can come down to the leasing office and they’d be happy to send someone up to help with it.

I walk down to the leasing office and before I can even ask a man in the dark red shirt looks at me accusatorially and snaps “Who are YOU? What do YOU want? Do you even LIVE here? This is PRIVATE property and we don’t want the likes of you on it.”

I explain to him that yes I do in fact live at this property. He looks at me, scoffs and demands to know my full name, and exact address.

“You’re LYING! I know EVERY tenant in this complex, and I know for a FACT that you cannot POSSIBLY live in that unit because I know the person who DOES live in that unit – and she’s NOT YOU! Now I’m asking you again: ‘who are you and what do you want?’ I want the TRUTH this time.”

He smirks and turns to his computer. “I will VERIFY everything you just said. Give me your name and address once again and I’ll PROVE what a liar you really are….Hmmmm, Umkay, HA I knew it! You don’t live in THAT unit – you live in the unit ACROSS from it!”

“Does that mean I actually DO live here?”

“I don’t know this negative attitude of yours is coming from but I will NOT put up with it in my office. Now tell me, what you want.”

I forgot.

He got me so pissed off that I totally forgotten why I had come down in the first place.

“Jonathan?” The building manager said coming up from behind me. “What are you doing in here?”

I’d still forgotten, but suddenly the rude guy was all smiles.

“Did you come to get a printed copy of your lease?”

“Um, sure…”

“Wait,” she said. “Something is bothering you, isn’t it?”

“No,” I said trying VERY hard to clear the incident from my mind.

“You’re a terrible liar, just come out and say it while we’re waiting otherwise we’ll know know if there is a way we can improve our service or not.”

Yes that is her actual quote, and no I didn’t feel like rehashing everything.

Why? Because every time someone asks me something like that they always cut me off mid-sentence and rudely tell “the crazy person” to “get fucking help. Fortunately for them, us “crazy people” don’t have “feelings” so we can’t be hurt (and if we are we “DESERVE” it because we’re “ASSHOLES”).

I take the newly printed lease from her hand and leave the office. The second I stepped outside the building again I remembered the A/C filter…


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