Rattled

I just had someone I’ve never met, open my door and bring his two year old inside MY apartment. The scary thing is, I thought my door was locked — it wasn’t. He just walked in.

He quickly left saying he had “the wrong apartment” when I came out to investigate (as it sounded like the ice maker starting up again). Unfortunately, I was too stunned to actually say anything which makes me feel even more useless.

I just returned from three days at Disney, so I must have left the door unlocked while I unpacked (which is, thankfully, what I was doing when he came in) as I’m already paranoid of things exactly like this happening. This could have gone badly in any number of ways – especially since this complex had a spate of car and home invasion robberies last year.

This means I’m literally sitting here feeling scared and unsafe in my own apartment — and it’s MY OWN DAMNED FAULT!! The best part is, there is literally nothing I can tell myself to calm myself down that can’t be disproven by the fact that it happened.

It doesn’t matter how many times I check my locks at night if someone barges in in the middle of the day. It doesn’t matter how angry I get about it if I can only blame myself for it. It doesn’t matter how much he apologizes, it still happened. It doesn’t matter what lies I tell myself to quash my heightened anxiety, it still happened. It still happened, and I’m still scared….

 

Categories: florida, Orlando, Williamsburg | Leave a comment

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