adventures

Donut be a menace to South Vineland…

I left my apartment this afternoon to try the new a signature cinnamon spice pumpkin coffee at Dunkin.

Unfortunately, they didn’t have any frozen pumpkin coffee (it’s a 106° in Orlando today, “hot or iced” isn’t going to cut it) or apple cider donuts so I opened my Lyft app and put in Starbucks on Vineland Ave (which isn’t in the app yet, so I put in the anchor Publix).

The driver arrived quickly enough and was quite friendly and everything was going smoothly… until he decided to take a “shortcut” by using the side entrance for delivery and then pulling around to the Publix.

Unfortunately, it was blocked off by construction equipment (why didn’t he see it from the road?), so he had to drive all the way to the end of the plaza just to be blocked by construction fencing and then backtrack to the main road so he could take the next entrance leading towards Walgreens and tried to cover it by pulling up in front of the store and saying, “yep, here we are at Walgreens. This is your destination, have a good one.”

He seemed stunned that I didn’t fall for that and I told him to drop me where I told him to…so he pulls up to the Publix around the corner (which was technically correct, but I only put it in because my ACTUAL destination isn’t in their app yet), and when I remind him for the third time that it was not where I told him to go he drives around the parking lot aimlessly until I told him “it’s the Starbucks next to Freddie’s.”

“Oh, oh, oh, of course I know EXACTLY where that is” and proceeds to ignore my directions and drive right past it, until he accidentally finds the drive-thru entrance to the Starbucks explaining that:

“I know the area perfectly… b-but the construction (on his shortcut) threw me off because I don’t know the area.”

Ironically enough, if he just followed his GPS instructions and turned right at the light, he wouldn’t have had this problem to begin with… and something tells me he did this on purpose.

Categories: adventures, florida, Orlando, Rideshare, transportation | Leave a comment

Hurricane with a side of fries

I just got home from a VERY crowded McDonald’s (I was trying to find coffee and possibly a late lunch). It was the only place on I-Drive that was open, so of course it was PACKED – even at 2pm! I guess that’s what happens when all the responsible restaurants on I-Drive are closed.
I was coming out of the store just in time to miss the last trolley back to the apt as trolley service was suspended at 3pm without notice – which wouldn’t have been a problem if I had gotten my food in less than 20 minutes.
I was forced to take Lyft back, and just as we approached the complex a southbound trolley pulled up on the opposite side of the light. The good news is I made it back before the storm hit…

Categories: adventures, florida, hurricanes, I-Ride Trolley, Orlando, transportation, weather | Leave a comment

Photo: Beyond frustrating

I was ONE turn away from catching Mewtwo… until it used Recover with TWO SECONDS left on their arbitrary timer. This is the fourth legendary I lost to in game and the second to that mechanic. Finally catching Mewtwo was the sole reason I bought this game. My entire year thus far has been wasted…

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Photos: The Wheel at ICON Park

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The opposite of nostalgia…

Major accident directly in front of my building. Brought back lots of bad memories. All these people in passing cars slowing down and glaring at ME as if I somehow caused it, doesn’t help matters. Neither does the fact that TODAY – April 26 – marks ten years since the accident that very nearly took my life.

The resemblance between the two crashes (or at least the damage done in them) was uncanny… or should I say unsettling. The fact that I came within seconds of causing my own death on a random Sunday evening on a road in Coal Township, Pa – a mere thousand yards from my home at the time… by obeying all traffic laws to the letter. The reward for my pain and suffering: loss of license, loss of insurance, loss of freedom and, worst of all, loss of the first thing I ever outright owned.

So, while at least one OPD officer was on hand interviewing participants in today’s incident. At no point did anyone bother to ask ME what happened at mine, in fact, the first thing the responding officer said to me was: “yeah, I figured it would be you. Every time there’s an accident in this city. YOU are the who caused it.”

I take that back, he DID ask what happened, and his partner cut him off: “‘Green?’ You mean ‘green’ like graaaaaassss or RED like an aaaaaappulllllll?”

“I’m a college graduate – that means I graduated from Kindergarten too.”

“DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU STUPID MOTHERF-”

At this point, the first cop pulled his hot-headed partner away before he could punch me, but just as he was about to get back to interviewing me, a woman cut him off shouting: “I saw it. I saw the whole thing. He did it. He caused the whole thing” and I didn’t see either officer again for another six hours (for six seconds at the hospital, he looked down at me, shrugged and said “well, you know you’re guilty” and left).

Yep, since I never talked to them (or the newspaper [link not found] which declared me guilty of “causing an accident on SR-61”) that left only one choice: Tell it to the judge… except my dad’s attorney stopped me from entering the courtroom and said: “face it, YOU caused the accident, so rather than go in there and lose – which you will – you will instead plead ‘no contest’ so I can work on more important cases.” Fuck you too.

Sorry, that concludes my story, which is convenient since the trolley I was waiting for has arrived. I have not looked up whether today’s story made the paper or not, but the first thing the driver said when she opened the door was: “damn, that’s the second accident at this exact spot this week. I swear this place is cursed…”

Categories: adventures, coal region, florida, I-Ride Trolley, Orlando, Pennsylvania, transportation, Williamsburg | Leave a comment

Photo: Princely perspective

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Photos: Disney’s Port Orleans Resort

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Photos: Disney’s Animal Kingdom

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Photo: A broken spaceship…

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A broken heart and tattered jeans (part 1)

As you can probably guess, this wasn’t the best week for me. My mom died suddenly on Monday night and I was told I had to come in on Tues or Wed so I could attend a viewing on “Thurs” that was moved to Saturday to be “more convenient” to out of town visitors (um, hi) meaning I paid DOUBLE the airfare (out of my own pocket no less) to fly out a day earlier than I wanted for absolutely nothing. To make matters worse, nearly everything about the combined service was a “disaster” (not my word). Thankfully, it ended quickly, and we could get on to more important things… like dozens of people I haven’t seen in 20 years (or more) asking me “when are you flying back.”

The real answer was “not soon enough,” but such honesty is kind of frowned upon in these settings so I was forced to repeatedly pull an arbitrary date from thin air right on the spot. Improv was never my strong suit so forcing me to do it on command can only end well, right?

Thankfully, after the obligatory, overlong, over loud “celebratory dinner,” my brother finally got the internet in the house working again (which is another story entirely) so I managed to book a flight a day earlier than I told people at the service. #winning

That day was Monday.

It started out by my aunts and uncle coming over and informing me to “get breakfast here as we aren’t stopping anywhere” in fact they left me alone in a dead woman’s house for almost 20 minutes so I could do that (apparently, the funeral home needed the flowers we specifically asked people NOT to send be returned that morning so they could prepare for another service). This whole self-serve breakfast thing would have been cool, but my older brother cleaned out the fridge the night before so there was literally nothing in there but two coffee creamers and half a container of guacamole… which would have worked out great, if they hadn’t taken the chips with them.

They get back shortly before noon giving me barely any time to breathe, let alone bring said flowers inside, before my Uncle Tom impatiently declares “we’re leaving. NOW. Let’s move.” Okay, fine, he also decides to take my mom’s car so he can leave his in the driveway (his wife is paranoid of people robbing the place post funeral).

Anyway, said car, actually a burgundy colored minivan, was flanked with trash bags (so animals won’t get into it) with the passenger side being blocked completely by a stack of bags nearly as tall as I am (no really). So, instead of waiting for him to pull the car out like a “normal” person, I scramble to climb over them and as I try to work my way into the cramped back seat, I hear a loud ripping noise.

I can’t check this immediately, but this cannot POSSIBLY be good. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about it until I got to the airport…

Categories: adventures, Autism, coal region, family, flying, Pennsylvania, sensory processing disorder, transportation | Leave a comment

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