Today is my mom’s 79th birthday. She died in March after a rather sudden illness.
As for today, I’m feeling okay. Not great, just okay. I know my brother Andrew says I view her death as a minor “inconvenience,” and, true or not (dad’s death meant nothing to me, mom’s was a tad more complicated due to how sudden it was), he has Power of Attorney over me through the estate so, legally speaking, I’m not allowed to argue with him about it.
It’s also one of Shamokin’s premiere Holiday Parties – and a personal favorite of my mom’s due to the selection of foods and, of course, the fact that it is hosted by one of her best friends so it was unofficially her birthday party as well. However, due to the second fact, I decided it would be too difficult on me to attend this party (though her food spread really is quite remarkable).
They say the first holiday without a loved one is the hardest. They also say it doesn’t get any easier. Factor in Autism and it’s easy to see why the confusion how to think, feel and react gets even worse. Thankfully, I live alone, so I don’t have to deal with anyone telling me I’m over (or under) reacting to things. However, come to think of it, a little support isn’t too much to ask for – today or any other day…
I love this shot. I just wish I was smiling.
This is one of my pet peeves, when someone repeats themselves just as I’m about to answer them… just so I can process it all over again. 😒
“If you answered me the FIRST time, i wouldn’t have to repeat myself.” 🤦♂️
Today marks nine months since my mom’s death. I don’t like harping on it in this blog, but it’ll be my first holiday without my parents and the rest of my family is in Pennsylvania. It’s not going to be easy, but I have no choice but to get through it.
(Art credit: Emm Roy, Emm’s Positivity Blog)
So, Thanksgiving? My older brother is tailgating at his wife’s alma-mater. My oldest brother is going over to his brother-in-law’s house. My aunt (dad’s side) is spending time with her husband’s family, and my other aunt (mom’s side) is spending it with her boyfriend’s family. My uncle (mom’s side) is going to his sister-in-law’s House. Sooo, where does that leave me?
A lot further ahead than I am for Christmas. I mean my older brother is throwing a “Holiday party” the weekend before Christmas. I’m not 100% sure if I’m invited or shall I say “welcome” given his attitude towards me, but it IS Christmas. Besides, the bigger issue would be logistics. How do I get there? How do I get around? Where would I stay? How would I get back? People who have cars don’t have that problem.
It’s the same reason I’m probably not attending my oldest brother’s birthday later this month. To be fair, it’s the weekend before Thanksgiving so travel (probably) wouldn’t be as bad… but I’d rather not risk it. #Sorrybro