Today is my mom’s 79th birthday. She died in March after a rather sudden illness.
As for today, I’m feeling okay. Not great, just okay. I know my brother Andrew says I view her death as a minor “inconvenience,” and, true or not (dad’s death meant nothing to me, mom’s was a tad more complicated due to how sudden it was), he has Power of Attorney over me through the estate so, legally speaking, I’m not allowed to argue with him about it.
It’s also one of Shamokin’s premiere Holiday Parties – and a personal favorite of my mom’s due to the selection of foods and, of course, the fact that it is hosted by one of her best friends so it was unofficially her birthday party as well. However, due to the second fact, I decided it would be too difficult on me to attend this party (though her food spread really is quite remarkable).
They say the first holiday without a loved one is the hardest. They also say it doesn’t get any easier. Factor in Autism and it’s easy to see why the confusion how to think, feel and react gets even worse. Thankfully, I live alone, so I don’t have to deal with anyone telling me I’m over (or under) reacting to things. However, come to think of it, a little support isn’t too much to ask for – today or any other day…
Life in the Uncanny Valley 